I used to be the type of person who knows what to do in her life … has direction, knows what she wants and has a plan…well at least, that’s what I thought I was two decades ago… now 47 years old, I am feeling the midlife crisis… the things I previously pursued and planned to do…I no longer want to continue no matter how much my husband and I spent…now, I feel like I wasted everything – the resources and time which GOD and my loved ones gave me and the opportunity that was given to me – to have a better life. Now, all of them are faded memories… why am I having these realizations now? Because, apart from the fact that I am getting older …I do envy my former colleagues and acquaintances whose lifestyles are much better than mine now …They who did not waste time and fought the fear and apprehension that they have and faced the trials and challenges in their lives and confidently trusted in their abilities and much more to God.

Why is Fickle Minded the title of my entry today? because, that’s how I am …even my husband is going nuts with me because I constantly change my mind … I can blame other people, my past experiences and situations for where I am right now… but what good will it bring? now that I am getting older and I can only do so much, I hold on to God’s promise that he is faithful and never changes his mind and looks after me … even if I make mistakes and sins, he is always there for me … Gradually, I learned how to spend quality time with him and put him first in all the things that I plan to do. With the challenges that I have faced and surpassed, his faithfulness truly manifested.